So maybe I started a blog and maybe I had big plans for said blog and maybe I proceeded to ignore the blog in question for nine entire months. This of course means I need to work to recreate that familiar repertoire we almost had. “What a do, bitches?” and other such greetings will have to wait.
Until then, please enjoy a list of excuses concerning my total abandonment of this blog. Feel free to employ any of them when you, too, decide to abandon your blog for very good reasons.
1. Your cat was hibernating
We all know it’s rude to move a sleeping cat. I don’t make the rules. [Disclaimer: cats do not hibernate. If your cat has been sleeping on your laptop for a period of nine months, I’m got news for you, buddy.]
2. You ran out of stock photos
And it would be completely embarrassing to have to use the same picture twice. I mean, what would the other bloggers say? Yikes!
3. Pokemon Go
Even Magicarp needs a loving home.
4. Your entire life is falling apart
Between your cat dying on your laptop, the stock photo fiasco, and falling into a coma induces by the total fulfillment of your deepest childhood dreams, you’ve really got a lot going on. Are you happy because you can catch Pokemon now? Are you concerned because you don’t have a single friend willing to pull you aside and say “Hey, Larry, that cat is dead”? Are you okay?
5. You tried to fight a tree
During the stress of your life collapsing in on you, you see a tree that has the nerve to be more perfect than all the other trees. In a rage, you attempt to fight the tree. Your attacks are not effective. Now you just can’t blog for at least nine months. The tree might see it and that would be simply embarrassing.
How do you make yourself feel better about unexpected hiatuses on your blog? Let me know in the comments below!