6 Lies Writers Tell Themselves

Confession: I am a liar. One of those Grade-A alligator tears kind of liars who can’t cope with real life and as such requires daily fibs to get through it. A really good liar, too. Or, as my dad might say, a writer. What I don’t do, though, is lie to myself. I could sit down with a glass of vodka and tell you about my drinking problem that I’m not ready to deal with just as readily as I could discuss the intricacies of the weather. I’m a real honest liar. Some of you, though, are just liars. I see you, and I’m calling you out. Here are 6 lies that many writers like to tell themselves.

“I’m almost done!”

No you’re not. You could be in the process of being published and I will still look you in the eye and say no, you’re not. This is not The Sims. You don’t write a book, throw it into the world, and sit at home doing nothing about it. That thing you made is your life now, and you’re just going to have to deal with it, Sally.

“I don’t have time!”

Yes you do. Everyone has an extra five minutes at least three times a week. Use it.

“I’ll do it tomorrow!”

You know, Sally, I’ve got it on good authority that you won’t. I mean, I get the saying. Why do today what you can do tomorrow, right? No. Wrong. Unless you have successfully turned writing into a job, if there’s no reason to write to today, there’s sure as shit no reason for you to write tomorrow. Your first job is finding that reason.

“But I really don’t need an editor!”

I’m not sure that most appropriate way to write hysterical laughing in the blog format.

“My characters are in control. No, really. They are!”

Pussy up, Sally. Mama ain’t raise no bitch. I’m not here for excuses like, “You know, I’m really surprised he would have done that!” You can be surprised. It’s delightful when your characters surprise you. Just the other day I learned a character I had a four year relationship with was hopelessly in love with Prince. It was delightful. If he had surprised me with a desire to leave the story completely for a couple of books and go on a soul journey I would beat him with my writer’s block until he got back into line.

“I can only write when I’m inspired!”

Then you’ll never be a writer. Sorry, Sally. Inspiration doesn’t fuel a writing career, persistence does.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

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